Summary:
Anchoring is the natural way we link experiences to our emotions, often through repeated associations that can gently bring us back to a calmer, more grounded state. When approached with care and intention, anchoring can become a supportive practice, helping us build reliable moments of reassurance and ease.
What is anchoring?
Anchoring is a way of associating a particular activity, sensation, view, object or in general “a thing” to an emotion. It’s founded on neuro-linguistic programming1 and the behaviourist concept of associative learning2. It can form a valuable coping mechanism that many of us employ without necessarily being aware of it. This could happen quite organically, when doing something as simple as washing the dishes to calm down after an argument or having a cup of tea ahead of performing a difficult task. The association there is between a calming, ritualistic activity that has a grounding effect because it reconnects us to a calmer state. Yet significantly, what turns either activity into an anchor is the pattern of relying on these small windows of relief, on a regular basis and in a predictable way.
An emotional anchor can also be negative. More frequently we associate this concept with the word trigger. Thanks to the impact of social media, triggers and triggering are now widely used terms. In case you’re not familiar, it refers to the association between an objective “thing” (song, colour, activity, word) and internalised pain that is called back into our focus and conscious awareness at the appearance of said trigger.
Anchors can be seen at play in superstitions in a negative sense, whether widely accepted or even at a personal level. A certain number, colour, or object is seen as lucky or unlucky, because of previous associations of pleasant or painful experiences that occurred alongside it.
Anatomy of an anchor
Anchors are frequently tied to things we experience through our senses. It’s well known that smell can invoke strong associations, for example, and we often associate certain scents to certain feelings in a way that is anchoring. The perfume industry certainly makes good use of this and so does the wellness industry. Or it’s potentially a colour or a sound that connects us to a feeling, again turning into an anchor, when we regularly rely on that association to put ourselves in a certain state of mind; for example, playing a favourite song which brings good memories as we are getting ready to go out.
The sensory aspect of anchors is inevitable, as we experience the world through our senses. Moreover, our earliest associations between environment and feeling would have played out at a sensory level. Babies that are held warmly in soft blankets, sung or whispered to, stroked and cuddled, are crucially fed and comforted at the same time.
Babies that sadly are met with neglect or abuse, will also feel this at the sensory level – feeling cold, hearing loud noises, etc – and quite likely associate this with hunger, pain, or tragically even with “good” input, like food. No wonder then, that we can anchor sensory experience as part of our emotional and mental worlds. Sensory experience is thus weaved into the very fabric of what how we experience connection and bonding.
Sensory experience is thus weaved into the very fabric of what how we experience connection and bonding.
Some anchors can appear as purely mental constructs – such as a catchphrase or a loved/ hated number – but even then there is an aspect of the visual, auditory or otherwise sensory association, it’s just being played out in the mind’s eye, or at least the memory. We could potentially argue that the cornerstones of our personal beliefs, ideologies and social constructs, are anchors to our identities – applied at scale.
What distinguishes an anchor from a random association is regularity. Just like a ship always uses an anchor to tether itself into place, our emotional anchors serve to tether us into a mental and physical state with reliable predictability. This can echo the feeling of secure attachment3 with our primary caregivers, that we have hopefully formed or would have liked to have formed in early life. It does not in itself heal trauma; however if we use it intentionally and consistently, we may be able to gradually help ourselves feel a safer and stronger attachment to a more secure version of ourselves, over time.
How can we use anchors to feel better?
Anchoring can be a powerful source of help if used in a mindful, deliberate way. It has been brought into light by neurolinguistic programming or NLP1 and is linked to the behaviourist principles of operant conditioning2,4 through positive reinforcement. It’s important to note that it might be possible for some people but not others to deliberately create positive anchors, with or without the help of psychotherapeutic professional. The following description is not a replacement for therapy and it might be appropriate to seek help before engaging with this.
In creating an anchor, initially we can simply notice what are our go-to “organic” behaviours when we are looking to self-soothe. What are the senses and sensations that we most often find comfort in? Are we drawn to textures, temperature, sound, smell or views and is it a combination of these? Picking up on these is an important foundation.
Next, we can set out to focus on any existing anchoring rituals or thought processes that we already have. It can be many things. Perhaps it’s an evening bath with candles or a brief tune-in to our favourite playlist before a demanding activity. A cup of our favourite warm drink at the start of a loaded day. The key is to single out a handful of these habits, that can actually be employed consistently and intentionally.
When we have identified the soothing habits, we can work out what are the contextual cues that represent that habit. It might be an object that represents the soothing activity, without the activity needing to be there itself. For example, a pebble that can bring back the memory of feeling relaxed at a much-loved beach. Simple, portable objects can be particularly useful as they can fit into micro-moments and small spaces quite easily. Places as such are harder to replicate – but if they happen to be in a location that we have easy access to on a daily basis, this can also be very useful. It might be a colour, a fabric, an image that we can bring into our minds.
Creating an anchor requires deliberate use
Creating an anchor requires deliberate use of the positive trigger we have identified, in combination with the mental state that we are looking to replicate. So, if we make a habit of having a cup of tea whilst watching our favourite show, we’re creating an anchor between a desired state (enjoyment or relaxation) and a sensory physical experience that also feels nurturing. If instead we chose alcohol, we will have created an anchor between enjoyment and alcohol – something to consider, bearing in mind how alcohol may affect mood, and health over time. If we hold a pebble whilst listening to our favourite music, we create an anchor that may help us feel as though we were listening to it, even when we cannot do so by keeping the pebble in our hand. If we do not want to rely on objects or external input, we can simply use what we have, such as touching our fingertips together or perhaps one hand stroking the other.
To create an anchor we need to be in the optimal state and introduce the cue at the most prominent stage of that state. Circumstances matter: if we have come home from an exhausting day, we might not be in a good place to try and lean into this. Those who practice mindfulness or meditation might be more familiar with the sort of relaxed, observant state that is more conducive to this type of process.
Next comes repetition. An anchor could settle in quickly or not. If we keep at it regularly, the habit and the associations are much more likely to take root.
Conversely, if we are at risk of being hypervigilant, through anxiety or trauma, we need to avoid creating anchors between negative emotions and contextual cues. An anchor is only a gentle way to tether our wellbeing back to our peaceful selves. If we take to using it to justify an anxious thought-process, we are going to perpetuate anxiety rather than address it. It’s important not to use anchoring as a way of looking for a magic solution and then becoming distressed because the magic isn’t happening. Anchors become negative triggers if we create them to feed an already detrimental process.
It's important not to use anchoring as a way of looking for a magic solution
So, an anchor is not about finding a lucky charm or a new superstition that we have to add to our list of things to worry about. People who struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) will be familiar with the problem of associating an action intended to bring relief with a negative thought process. Where in OCD a certain number of times of performing the intended stress-relieving action (such as checking locks or washing hands) is deemed to be able to bring relief from intrusive worries, it often has the opposite effect of triggering anxiety as though the ritual is never enough5. This then leads to the escalation of checking/ repeating the action more and more times. The anxiety has now transferred to the very act that was intended to make it go away.
Anchors don’t solve anxiety in and of themselves, they are a supportive tool. If used in the wrong way, they cannot be the supportive mechanisms we need them to be. Anchors should bring us back to ourselves, not to the epicentre of our concerns.
Conclusion
Positive anchoring can be a way to gently tie our mental state to feelings of safety, calm, or confidence. If approached in a negative frame of mind, we risk being pulled in the opposite direction, through unwanted associations. When chosen with deliberate care and attention, anchors can become small, reassuring threads that guide us back to ourselves, reminding us that even in changing tides, we can find a sense of grounding and ease. Like a quiet anchor beneath the surface, anchoring can be a useful tool to help steady ourselves when the waters feel unsettled and ensure we remain attached securely to our inner selves in a peaceful state.
References
1 Addler, H., 1994. NLP - Neurolinguistic programming: the new art and science of getting what you want. London, Piatkus,
2 Skinner, B. F., 1953. Science and Human Behavior. New York, Macmillan
3 Bowlby, J., 1969. Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. New York, Basic Books.
4 Skinner, B. F., 1963. Operant Behavior, American Psychologist, 18, 503–515
5 OCD Action, An Introduction to OCD, https://ocdaction.org.uk/resources/an-introduction-to-ocd/, last accessed 12 July 2026